Those were the words that Lola Elliott Hugh used during a phone conversation with Joe the first week of August. The reason, I was having as they put it, a “hissy fit” over the wedding plans and preparations. Why you ask, because the wedding which was now being planned from afar by Lola was, in my opinion at that moment, getting way to big and out of control. When Joe and I first spoke of going up to Connecticut to do this, in my mind’s eye I had pictured going to the courthouse or town hall, wherever one gets a license in the State of Connecticut and after getting the license, having a Justice of the Peace or whatever town/county/city official could legally perform a marriage, take care of it dressed in our finest shorts & flip-flops and we’d be done in 10-15 minutes and on our way to enjoy a couple of days visiting with Rob and Lola. However, apparently my mind’s eye was blind to the fact that Lola had a different set of plans. First, after we had informed them that we wanted to come up in August and get married, Rob and Lola had been very excited and Lola had said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything”. Good, right? So I thought she would make sure where we needed to go, who we needed to see and they would be our witnesses. Well she did all those things but she had more in mind than a simple ceremony on the steps of a courthouse.
The following week, an email comes in with news that a very good friend of hers who is a Presbyterian minister (John) has agreed to do the ceremony. Ok, so I’m thinking, maybe we will get married at their house (they have a great backyard), so I say sure, a minister is fine. Then a few days later, Lola emails and says that the associate pastor (Kate) at her Church would also like to participate and that we can have the ceremony at her Church. Ok, a little more than I had originally thought, but just us and 2 ministers, I can handle that. The next day, we learn via email or phone, can’t remember which at this point, that the organist (Angela) at Church overheard Lola and Kate talking and inquired if they wanted her to play. Hearing that Joe is also a Church organist, she then says she wants to play for the wedding. Now we have 2 witnesses, 2 ministers and an organist. But of course, if you are going to have an organist, then you need someone to sing. So she speaks to 2 of her good friends from the Church, Chris & Joel and asks if they would like to sing. Of course they would. Now we have 2 witnesses, 2 ministers, 2 singers, an organist….and a partridge in a pear tree. J
It was right about then, two weeks before the wedding that my “hissy fit” began. It was precipitated by a phone call from Lola to Joe and they were discussing what songs that Chris and Joel were going to sing. How many songs they would sing, how many songs Angela would play for her prelude and postlude, what music to play for a processional, did we want to came down the aisle, in from the sides, come in one at a time, come in together and on and on and on. At that point, I’m sitting on the couch with Joe listening to one side of a conversation and going “no, no, no, no, NO!”. This isn’t what I want. I want simple, no fuss, nothing elaborate and I was feeling it was going to be too over the top from what I wanted. That is when Lola says to Joe, “Put Him On The Phone”! I of course am sitting there looking at Joe’s outstretched arm with the phone extended towards me saying, “No, I’m not going to talk to her”. Joe goes back on and says, “he won’t talk to you”, she says” PUT HIM ON THE PHONE!”. So once again he extends him arm with phone in front of me and says, “You have to talk to her”, so I very calmly took the phone and said, “Hi Lola”. We talked, or more accurately she talked for 15 minutes, calming me down, pulling me in from off the ledge and quieted my fears to just a distant hum. Gone was the white satin runner, white doves and horse drawn carriage. After that, for the next 2 weeks there was a furious exchange of emails and calls with every detail checked and approved before proceeding to keep any future hissy fits from happening.
We laughed a lot once we were in Connecticut about that phone call and of course, everything down to the smallest of details went off very smoothly and the day was beautiful in every way, all thanks to Lola and Rob. Thunderstorms were called for every day and we only had lovely blue skies. Getting the license took less than 10 minutes, thanks to Lola setting up the appointment. The rehearsal meeting at the church turned into a social gathering for all concerned especially Kate, John, Joe and me. By the time we left the church on Thursday from meeting with everyone, all fears and all doubts were completely erased. Now we just had to get through the real ceremony on Friday and all would be good, and we did, even when one of the ministers (John) was delayed on the highway because of traffic problems from a wreck, but he managed to arrive at 2:28 for the 2:30pm wedding.
The following week, an email comes in with news that a very good friend of hers who is a Presbyterian minister (John) has agreed to do the ceremony. Ok, so I’m thinking, maybe we will get married at their house (they have a great backyard), so I say sure, a minister is fine. Then a few days later, Lola emails and says that the associate pastor (Kate) at her Church would also like to participate and that we can have the ceremony at her Church. Ok, a little more than I had originally thought, but just us and 2 ministers, I can handle that. The next day, we learn via email or phone, can’t remember which at this point, that the organist (Angela) at Church overheard Lola and Kate talking and inquired if they wanted her to play. Hearing that Joe is also a Church organist, she then says she wants to play for the wedding. Now we have 2 witnesses, 2 ministers and an organist. But of course, if you are going to have an organist, then you need someone to sing. So she speaks to 2 of her good friends from the Church, Chris & Joel and asks if they would like to sing. Of course they would. Now we have 2 witnesses, 2 ministers, 2 singers, an organist….and a partridge in a pear tree. J
It was right about then, two weeks before the wedding that my “hissy fit” began. It was precipitated by a phone call from Lola to Joe and they were discussing what songs that Chris and Joel were going to sing. How many songs they would sing, how many songs Angela would play for her prelude and postlude, what music to play for a processional, did we want to came down the aisle, in from the sides, come in one at a time, come in together and on and on and on. At that point, I’m sitting on the couch with Joe listening to one side of a conversation and going “no, no, no, no, NO!”. This isn’t what I want. I want simple, no fuss, nothing elaborate and I was feeling it was going to be too over the top from what I wanted. That is when Lola says to Joe, “Put Him On The Phone”! I of course am sitting there looking at Joe’s outstretched arm with the phone extended towards me saying, “No, I’m not going to talk to her”. Joe goes back on and says, “he won’t talk to you”, she says” PUT HIM ON THE PHONE!”. So once again he extends him arm with phone in front of me and says, “You have to talk to her”, so I very calmly took the phone and said, “Hi Lola”. We talked, or more accurately she talked for 15 minutes, calming me down, pulling me in from off the ledge and quieted my fears to just a distant hum. Gone was the white satin runner, white doves and horse drawn carriage. After that, for the next 2 weeks there was a furious exchange of emails and calls with every detail checked and approved before proceeding to keep any future hissy fits from happening.
We laughed a lot once we were in Connecticut about that phone call and of course, everything down to the smallest of details went off very smoothly and the day was beautiful in every way, all thanks to Lola and Rob. Thunderstorms were called for every day and we only had lovely blue skies. Getting the license took less than 10 minutes, thanks to Lola setting up the appointment. The rehearsal meeting at the church turned into a social gathering for all concerned especially Kate, John, Joe and me. By the time we left the church on Thursday from meeting with everyone, all fears and all doubts were completely erased. Now we just had to get through the real ceremony on Friday and all would be good, and we did, even when one of the ministers (John) was delayed on the highway because of traffic problems from a wreck, but he managed to arrive at 2:28 for the 2:30pm wedding.
After the ceremony was when the fun really began. Rob & Lola had been very hush hush about afterwards and on Thursday night had announced that we needed to pack an overnight bag because they were taking us somewhere for an overnight trip after the wedding. We were told to pack something nice, yet comfortable and to also bring something very casual, possibly shorts. No other details were given to us. So after an impromptu reception of lemonade & a fruit platter in the church kitchen for the 10 people in attendance for the wedding, and multitudes of photographs taken, we were in their car and heading somewhere unknown. I must say that the countryside of Connecticut is gorgeous and some of the old homes are incredible. Once we were on the highway, the scenery was a little less interesting until Joe noticed a road sign for the Goodspeed Opera House. Of course, Joe being Joe, says, “I’ve heard of that. That is where “Annie”, “Man of La Mancha” and other shows premiered before going on to Broadway". Unbeknownst to us, Rob & Lola were both holding their breaths hoping Joe wouldn’t say something negative like, “but I’ve heard it’s really gone downhill lately”, or something similar. We continued on and took the exit right after that sign. Soon we were crossing a beautiful bridge over the Connecticut River and there on the right after coming off the bridge was the Opera House. The marquee said “Show Boat” was playing. Joe of course remarks, “Oh, Show Boat is playing”. What we didn’t know was that once again Rob & Lola were holding their collective breaths hoping he didn’t say something about disliking the show.
After passing the theatre without any negative comments, Lola told us that we were going to have dinner at the restaurant next to the opera house and we had 4 tickets to see the show. Very exciting, however, Rob was driving very slowly and endlessly scrolling through some data on his phone. He then says, “I don’t remember which one, Lola”. Lola of course says that she doesn't either and Rob has to confess that he has reservations for us at a local Bed & Breakfast, but he can’t remember which one, he just knows it starts with a “B” and of course, wouldn’t you know that right past the opera house are 2 B-n-B’s. Both beginning with the letter “B”. So after passing both of them, we do a quick turn around and drive back to the first one. Out jumps Rob, up to the door, rings the doorbell and is greeted by a lady. He gives his name and of course, that isn’t where we are staying. So on to the next one. Luckily there wasn’t a 3rd or 4th or we may have been driving around for quite some time, but the 2nd place was correct and the owners ushered us right in and to our rooms. We even got an “Upgrade” to the Director's Suite since it was our wedding night. It was a fantastic home, a fantastic dinner and a fantastic show. After the show we were all equally pooped and so we walked back to the B-n-B and went straight to our respective rooms and off to sleep. One thing we did learn is that homes built in the late 19th or early 20th century didn’t necessarily adhere to height standards for the doorways as is obvious from this photo of Joe and me standing in the bathroom.
After passing the theatre without any negative comments, Lola told us that we were going to have dinner at the restaurant next to the opera house and we had 4 tickets to see the show. Very exciting, however, Rob was driving very slowly and endlessly scrolling through some data on his phone. He then says, “I don’t remember which one, Lola”. Lola of course says that she doesn't either and Rob has to confess that he has reservations for us at a local Bed & Breakfast, but he can’t remember which one, he just knows it starts with a “B” and of course, wouldn’t you know that right past the opera house are 2 B-n-B’s. Both beginning with the letter “B”. So after passing both of them, we do a quick turn around and drive back to the first one. Out jumps Rob, up to the door, rings the doorbell and is greeted by a lady. He gives his name and of course, that isn’t where we are staying. So on to the next one. Luckily there wasn’t a 3rd or 4th or we may have been driving around for quite some time, but the 2nd place was correct and the owners ushered us right in and to our rooms. We even got an “Upgrade” to the Director's Suite since it was our wedding night. It was a fantastic home, a fantastic dinner and a fantastic show. After the show we were all equally pooped and so we walked back to the B-n-B and went straight to our respective rooms and off to sleep. One thing we did learn is that homes built in the late 19th or early 20th century didn’t necessarily adhere to height standards for the doorways as is obvious from this photo of Joe and me standing in the bathroom.
However, we couldn’t have a nicer place to stay. It was wonderful. The next morning at breakfast, they even went so far as to concern themselves with and adhere to Joe’s particular dietary needs. We had the company of another person staying at the B-n-B for breakfast and while eating and sipping our juice and coffee we got acquainted with her and she with us. The conversation was lively and interesting.
After breakfast we packed up our bags, checked out of the Bishopsgate Inn and proceeded to walk around the village of East Haddem and along the Connecticut River, of course stopping and posing for vast quantities of photos.
Upon returning to Rob & Lola’s house in West Hartford, we packed what little we had still there and then settled in for a bite of lunch and to wait to leave for the airport. We also took this time to listen to Joe’s CD, “A Time of Centering”, which Lola & Rob had not yet heard and Lola went downstairs to begin making us a disc of the photos from the day before the wedding, the wedding itself and the evening and next day around the Goodspeed Opera House. About half way through the CD, Rob went downstairs to see what progress Lola was making only to find her sitting there crying. Apparently either she was really touched by listening to the music and looking at the photos of the past few days, especially the wedding or shear exhaustion had set in from all the hard work she had put in over the past weeks getting everything together. I know it was a labor of love for her and that she would do it again in a heartbeat, but Joe and I will never be able to thank both Lola & Rob for everything they did for us. We are eternally in their debt and since the wedding I don’t think a day has gone by that we haven’t either spoken to them, emailed them or texted them. As Joe said at the airport when we were finally through security, “I don’t want to leave them yet”. They are such wonderful people you can’t help yourself but want to stay in their presence constantly. I wish everyone could get to know them and love them like we do. Everyone needs a Rob & Lola in their lives.
